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19 May 2009 @ 04:20 pm
 
i feel like i should update. i guess it's an organizational thing for me.


01. auditions continue tonight for steel magnolias, the play my father and i are co-directing. we had an excellent turn-out last night; 16 people showed up. we could have cast the damn thing then. my mother tried out, and read beautifully for m'lynn, the lady who finds out her idiot daughter is dying because she ignored the doctors and chose to have a baby despite her diabetes. i cried, kind of a lot. it was a fantastic performance, and i guess seeing my mother convincingly pretending to be in agony does something for me. it's not the first time; she played a woman with terminal cancer once and i fucking bawled the whole time. although the worst was when my dad played a man with alzheimer's. broke my heart to watch. i think it was because i sympathized with the mental illness aspect, and the absolute helplessness. my parents are getting older, and i guess eventually they will have to deal with stuff like that. so will i. but i can't really think about losing either parent. my dad was almost a best friend to me growing up and losing him would the worst possible thing that could happen. but i guess there's no sense in worrying about that now.

02. grades.

japanese ii: b+
survey & practice of digital art: b (only one person in the entire class got anything in the a range)
precalculus: b+
literary interpretation: b
classical mythology: b

i think i can live with myself. i kept my scholarship for another year, at least. (note to self: stop being a lazy fucker and finish registering for fall classes)

03. gotta get a job soon. dnw. this sleeping in til 3 or 4 thing is really working out for me. maybe with this economy i won't be able to find one? here's hoping.

04. my mom just lost her job. she's the very best special ed aid in the school, but the asshat principal let her go because he's intimidated of her. if she doesn't get the decision overturned she'll have to seek employment elsewhere. i'm not worried about the lost income, but it sucks that she is so fucking good at what she does and yet this jerk is petty enough to fire her for it.

05. i'm going to see roger on the 9th. hopefully we can work through this crippling depression thing. he'll probably just tell me to start taking the meds that don't work. we'll see. i'm starting to realize just how much i crave control over my life. i think that's part of the reason i refuse to take medicine for the conditions i have. i can't stand to be reliant on something like that.

06. i've been on the treadmill five or six times in the last week. i get restless and i have to do something, and then i push myself until i am literally having an asthma attack (even then i don't stop). i'm glad i've found a way to make my ocd work to my advantage.

auditions again tonight. my dad is so organized, it really is something to behold. and i kind of love being his secretary. :D
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21st century rhizomehijackme on May 19th, 2009 10:39 pm (UTC)
Good job on your grades, bb.

ALSO STOP SLEEPING SO LATE DNW TO BE ALONE
The Troll-Queen of Angmarladyvoldything on May 19th, 2009 11:41 pm (UTC)
Hey, great job on your grades! :D That's awesome, I wish I was doing half that well. D:

Also, if your ocd makes you skinny and hawt, then all the merrier. Just PLEEEEAAASE don't do the asthma thing asd;lfjkahdrg I'm getting an attack just reading that ;_;
Ravynravyn726 on May 20th, 2009 01:43 am (UTC)
Also, if your ocd makes you skinny and hawt, then all the merrier.

LOL. no danger of that. :D
The Troll-Queen of Angmarladyvoldything on May 20th, 2009 02:03 am (UTC)
If you keep going on the treadmill every day until you pass out, then it's a possibility (not a danger :D :D :D)
Ravynravyn726 on May 20th, 2009 02:22 am (UTC)
LOL. LOLOLOLOL.

there are circumstances that preclude that. (:
The Troll-Queen of Angmarladyvoldything on May 20th, 2009 02:24 am (UTC)
Aw. Hormone stuff? Sucks.

At least you'll be in better shape or something? :D
Ravyn: MA: Cakeravyn726 on May 20th, 2009 02:26 am (UTC)
wow, you know about stuff.

that's the plan!
The Troll-Queen of Angmarladyvoldything on May 20th, 2009 02:35 am (UTC)
I've known people with hormone fuckery. :(

Yay! You've prob done more exercising this week than I have since seventh grade.
chocolate_frapp: Hugh Blue Eyeschocolate_frapp on May 20th, 2009 06:42 pm (UTC)
my support goes to your mom. Special ed teachers HAVE to be a bit tough, it comes with the territory.
Ravyn: coyravyn726 on May 20th, 2009 07:25 pm (UTC)
so true! the principal at that school is a moron. he doesn't protect his staff or students and he doesn't take the threat of violence seriously (some of these kids don't just have learning disabilities but are actually kind of psychotic). he thinks you can be their best friend and get their cooperation that way. my mom raised two kids with mental illness (my brother's autistic) and we turned out just fine.

thanks!
chocolate_frappchocolate_frapp on May 20th, 2009 08:01 pm (UTC)
wow, that principal sounds like a total fool.